THE TRUTH - 001

THE TRUTH ACCORDING TO ZED MERCURY - 001

The Author

"Ladies and gentlemen, freaks, creeps and weirdos, 

WELCOME TO HELL!

I'm Zed Mercury, rogue psychopomp and scourge of the Spiral Seas. I'm a pirate, I'm a thief and I'm old friends with the Devil.  

I've been blackmailed into hosting this god forsaken site by these two degenerate flesh sacks - Billy Hysteria and Steve Boyd. 

These two assholes have harassed me for the last three years. They jumped me at my favorite piss hole and wouldn't stop buying me drinks until I got so shit-faced that I eventually agreed to sell them the rights to my life story. 

This is why I hate you humans. You're a bunch of sneaky fuckers aren't ya? 

Hysteria and Boyd tried to tell me all about their little picture book and how it was all a metaphor for something and a genre exercise in blah blah blah. They listed a bunch of these other artists that had influenced their work. I couldn't give two shits about all that as long as I don't come across like a moron and they don't run off to Norway with my royalties. 

So anyway, it's gonna be a comic and the story is mainly about me and how I quit being a Psychopomp 

for the Underworld, became a pirate and a mercenary and ended up accidently helping some slack jawed humans in the so called 'real world'.  

Oh yeah, I also killed a whole bunch of monsters, kicked a drug habit and destabilized the reigning police state of Hell.  So, you know, no big deal. I'm just a hero and all. 

This comic adaptation of my adventures begins at the end of March with the launch of a ten page preview issue that primes you for the ongoing series later this year. 

It's called Issue Zerro: STEALING CANDY. Keep your sweaty eyeballs peeled and subscribe to the site so you're not in the dark when all your loser friends started talking about how awesome I am.

That's it. That's my big sell. If Hysteria and Boyd don't like it they can write all this shit themselves.

Keep checking back for more updates, an upcoming release schedule and an Illustrated Guide to the Underworld by one of my creepy mates - Blackmurk the Mystic. 

Till next time, keep breathing ya weirdos!"

- FATHER ZED

  Psychopomp